sweeping.

I 've been sweeping. Sweeping old memories of friendship out of my mind and into my heart, where I can feel them again. Sweeping the pain of letting go under the rug, hoping nobody looks there. Sweeping back my hair off my face after crying about something I can't control. Sweeping over my book one last time, making sure Katie's character is just how I remember her to be. Sweeping aside thoughts of what might come next, and instead sweeping my little girl Maggie up and into my bed each night she asks, just because I can.  

The truth about mammograms

October is breast cancer awareness month, and if you are lucky, free-umbrella-with-your-mammogram-month! Here is the deal. I am not 40 yet, the magical age of the first recommended mammogram—but I didn't want to wait any longer. A few weeks ago I called the hospital and made the appointment. Here are a few myths...dispelled:

Myth #1 - It hurts.

This is sooooo false. I have had high fives that have hurt more. Uncomfortable? A tad. Painful. No way.

Myth #2 - You have to have standard size boobs.

Again, false. I asked nurse Bridgette what happens if a gal comes in with plateau chest, or what about big mamma mountain tops?? How about fakies? The quick answer: there are ways to accommodate all sizes, all types.

Myth #3 - The appointment will take forever.

20 minutes tops, baby.

Myth #4 - A call back from the hospital to ask for an additional mammogram means you have cancer.

Nope. A call back for first timers like myself typically means that they want to get more information. The first mammogram is the baseline for all others that follow. So it's essential to have the first mammogram as accurate as possible.

Myth #5 - The results are slow.

So fast. So fast. They will call you within 24 hours if there is a concern, and if your mammogram is normal you will get a friendly postcard within a few days.

Myth #6 - You have to be 40.

Guess what? Most insurance companies pay for mammograms anytime after 35.

Myth #7 - The "ladies" will get squished like a pancake.

Uh. Ya. I'll just say this...under NO circumstances, no matter how bad you want to DON'T LOOK DOWN!

The Hottest Things Men Do

I have surveyed married female friends, my sisters, and two co-workers, and have uncovered the mystery of what makes a man really attractive. Sure, we women still love a man who wears woodsy cologne, can run a marathon, and is swimming in money. But, the truth is women get all sorts of happy when men do these 8 things:

1: Mow then edge the lawn: First of all, women love to see their man sweat. More so though, we love nice neat lines of grass. In a woman’s world this is very similar to vacuum lines—which men may or may not find hot. Edging is the crème de la crème of yard work, pulling together the curb appeal in glorious detail. As a bonus the way a man must hold the edger begs for his biceps to pop. We like that too.

2: Pulling the garbage to the curb: Nothing, nothing, nothing is hotter than the sound of a man pulling the garbage can to the curb. Even hotter: if this happens in the wee hours of the morning to catch the truck before it passes by.

3: Patience with children: A man who bends down to eye-level of a child who is crying, upset, or otherwise having a tantrum and shows kindness instead of frustration marks a man with a great amount of control. It’s impossible not to be moved by this act of hotness.

4: Send us grocery shopping—alone: Shopping solo, sans the grocery list, is like date night with ourselves or therapy without the couch. There are few hotter words than when a man says to his woman, “I insist, go shopping, and I will stay here and play board games with the kids. Take your time.”

5: Plan date night: Suddenly you are married and it seems the planning of date night falls square into the lap of the organized wife. You know what’s hot? When the man plans the evening, gets the sitter, washes the car before the date, opens the door for his woman, and wears woodsy cologne.

6: When he loves family reunions: Tolerating family and slugging through the reunion isn’t hot. But, talking to brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, playing with nieces and nephews, and getting to know each member on of both sides of the marriage—flaws and all—comes off as quite hot.

7: Change a tire: When a man changes a tire he isn’t just getting the vehicle back on the road. No. No. No. When he rolls up his sleeves, prepares to get dirty, and rescues his woman from having to wait for AAA—he’s telling her he can take charge of a stressful situation. But, truthfully, when a man has to look up the step-by-step instructions in the manual on how to get the job done—that’s a hotness extinguisher.

8: A kiss like he means it: Lips have thousands of nerve endings (100 times more than your fingertips!) and if there is passion, greatness, and good hygiene behind his kiss, those nerve endings light up like fireworks. There are, of course, honorable mentions to what makes a man really hot: cleaning up kid barf, sewing on a button, helping the kids with math homework, keeping promises, rocking the baby to sleep, growing a garden, singing along with the radio, spontaneously loading the dishwasher, getting a fresh haircut, having nice feet, and knowing how to dance the waltz. But, hands down the hottest thing a man can do is to come home at the end of the day—when his woman’s own hotness has faded behind the daily tasks of survival—take her face in his hands, look her in the eye, and say, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” Now that’s hot.

shedding the thin skin

I have been completely sucked into the work of finding an agent for my book, "White Bees." The process is daunting, and part of me wants to put the book I have spent the better part of a year writing, in my nightstand, safe and sound. If I don't share the struggles I have been through that are written in the 80,000 words of my book with agents --  then they can't reject my book, my inner thoughts, one of my greatest accomplishments. Right? No wonder so many people get to this stage of the writing process and decide to give up. But, I made a promise to myself a year ago to complete this goal -- all the way. Not to stop when the writing was done, but to keep going until my goal of getting "White Bees" published became a reality. With the editing process done (thank you Katie Carter!) I will shed my thin skin, and starting June 1st gear up for sending out queries. Wish me lots of luck! I am going to need it.

finished.

A week ago, as Saturday met Sunday, I sat alone with just my thoughts and my fingers typing as fast as they could. I had set a goal to have the 1st draft of my book done by my birthday, which just so happened to be March 11th. All the way back in November I wrote the last few paragraphs of the book, the ending coming to me while I was in one of my favorite places, so it was just a matter of filling in the rest. As I hit the last key, just after midnight, the looked at the word count (77K), I felt an instant of immediate pride in accomplishing my goal. I had DONE IT!! I really had written a book, all about me and my white bees. I am so excited to now make it through the 2nd draft (I have a wonderful editor helping me with making it GREAT), and once I feel it is the best it can be...I will prepare to send it out to agents and publishers. Can't wait!